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[personal profile] amancham
Well then ... I figured as a first real entry I probably should introduce myself. Manners and such, you know. Probably should explain the title of my blog, too ... or not. I'm pretty sure you'll figure that out soon enough. Anyway, this is gonna be long, insane and useless. So just hop on to the next journal or the next entry. Trust me, you don't need to read this ;)

Now where do I start. First things first: 
My name is Amancham. No, not my real name that would be Mel but for years and years I've always used this name wherever I went on the internet and I'm sticking to it.
Now, Amancham was born back in 2002. When - due to Lord of the rings - I started browsing the web, blogging, posting on discussion boards and such. I needed a name, I had a little help and used one of those back-in-the-day elvish name generator things. You know when you type in your name in one of those websites and it comes up with your elvish, dwarfen, goblin name or whatever, then you don't like it and you try it again, surname first and stuff? Normally you type in your name again the same way it comes up with the same name. As did that one except for this Name. Firstname Name or Name, First name or whatever I tried - it spit out Amancham exactly once and never again. Since I liked it, I used that one from then on.
Wherever I went, no matter how big the website or community no matter how huge the service ... amancham is always open so it seems like really noone else uses this one. Therefore I claim it is MY name to keep forever. Ha!

I am female - well. Biologically I am female. That's about it. I often have the feeling I should have been a man. A gay man, granted. But a man nevertheless. I could explain that further now, but honestly? I don't tell everything on my first date, so sorry to disappoint but I will not explain the gay man thing any further :p
Why I don't behave or feel very female most of the time I cannot tell. Maybe it's because I grew up with an older brother and I had to play with him and of course he didn't wanna have a cup of tea with me and my doll. Nope. We had to go out into the maize fields and play missing in action, vietnam war or cowboys and indians. Needless to say I always lost, but still, boy's games.
I own exactly two hand bags of which one is broken therefore I aquired the second (new) one. Don't use it much, most of the time I prefer a backpack over a hand bag. Seriously. What are hand bags for, anyway? 
I own - let me count - ahm ... I think 6 pairs of shoes: 2 pairs of cowboy boots, 1 pair of winter boots, 1 pair light summer shoes and 2 pairs of sneaker type shoes. Noe of which have proper heels. Highest ones are my cowboy boots with roughly 1 inch. I don't own any high heels and never will. I can't stand them. Don't get me wrong I thing they're fabulous - on another woman's feet, not mine. My sister wears them beautifully and I like lookig. But that's it. Oh and I don't do make up. Ever. Any "typical female" traits I forgot to mention me not having? *lol*

I am German. At least that's what it says on my birth certificate. Don't know where that is coming from. Sure enough was born in Germany and raised here, too and unfortunately I still live there, but I don't feel very German. I'm probably more american than anything else, maybe a little british, but that comes with the territory. Working for 'em at the moment. You kinda adapt. I hate my own language, I never watch telly 'cause I can't stand the dubbing. Last time I've been to the cinema was ages ago 'cause I can't stand the dubbing. I only watch DVDs and those in Original Voices, thank you very much. I have friends all over the place. Switzerland, England, America, Australia, Czech Republic, Austria ... and some in Germany, too. We have a lot in common, the love for english language, for example.

I am 28 years old.
But age doesn't matter. I can behave like a 14-year-old, especially when I'm in fangirl-mode and I can behave like I'm about 40. Sometimes I feel like I'm 70 already. So that, for me, really is just a number and doesn't say anything about me.

I'm a taurus. Unfortunately I have to admit that I am a rather typical taurus. I am stubborn as hell to a level of self-harm because I just don't wanna give in, though I know I'm on the wrong path. Head first through the wall - ignoring the open door right next to me. I'm working on it, but I can't change over night. If someone treats me badly, I bottle it up for ages until it gets too much and then I explode. But I easily calm down right afterwards and I hardly ever hold a grudge. To manage that you have to mess up massively!  If things went real bad I might need some time to cool off, but holding a grudge is way too much effort and hardly worth it, so I don't bother with that.

I am a writer.
I've written at least two best sellers and have a lot more in planning. Unfortunately the world doesn't know about 'em yet. ;) I love writing fanfiction and originals, it's my favorite hobby and the thing I spend most time on. If I'm not working on a story, I'm often writing blog entries, reviews, tutorials, character studies ... all kinds of stuff, really. Half the stuff I write I never post anywhere. I don't write for feedback. I post for feedback, but that's a different matter altogether. I live to write and if - for any reason - I can't write for a while, I tend to get rather agressive and unnerved. All the energy, the emotions the ideas ... they need to get out or they rip me apart. That's what the writing is for. I also love to challenge with my stories. By the way: Being German and all - most my writing is done in German, too. Unfortunately. 

I am a cat lady.
I have two cats at the moment (recently came to me, those two) and I call them my "kids". I'd rather go hungry myself than not taking care of my little lovelies.

I am not alone.
I wouldn't go as far as calling myself schizophrenic but I found that I sometimes switch between "modes". There is Evil!Me, a rather sarcastic and mean creature. There is Baby!Hardison-Me an incarnation one of my friends came up with because she thinks I'm a computer freak and nerd. And here I was, thinking working on two monitors or laptop and computer at the same time is normal and everybody out there was wishing for a massive computerstation with six monitors to have a blast with multi-tasking ... guess I was wrong. While there is kind of a Normal!Me she's rather dormant most of the time and is mainly there for work and family stuff. Then of course there is Amancham herself. The writer, the crative one. She is very close with Sadistic!Me - although I gotta say all my sadistic behaviour is solely directed at my characters (and partly my readers, I guess) and for real I couldn't harm a fly. Gee, I've taken in stray cats because I felt sorry for them although I really can't afford them.

I am a fan girl. I get easily excited about movies, TV-shows, actors, musicians and such. And I love living it. My sole king I bow before in awe is and shall always remain Christian Kane. Followed directly by Steve Carlson. There are many others. Like I said: I'm easily excited. I like getting into a TV-show, not only watching it but taking it apart, re-writing parts I didn't like, mixing different Shows together ... To me, life as a fan is fun. But don't mistake me for one of those people reading every gossip about their favorites. Quite the opposite. One of the reasons I like Kane so much for is that he keeps his private life private. Gotta admire that. And no, I would never go and try to rip their cloths off and such just because I like 'em. There are boundries for how close you should get to an actual stranger and I like to keep them.

I am an emotional powder keg. Like mentioned above: I bottle up if someone treats me badly and at some point I explode. And in that case you better get far away from me because that volcano is taking everything down with it. I love to cry and I love to laugh. I have a strong opinion on things and I fight for my believes and for the rights of others if I believe in them. I like a good cause and I like to help. Like mentioned above: If I don't get to write something, my emotions seem to rip me apart. The emotional powder keg needs an outlet and the writing is exactly that.

Last but not least: I'm crazy - but fully aware of it. I would love to say, it started with the writing ... or some later when I came cross Mr. Kane and Lindsey McDonald, my farvorite victim in storywriting and the little bugger that kinda came to life. But truth to be told, I was a little off already, when I was a kid. I remember pre-school. Memories of me running around, talking to little creatures that noone else could see. Back than I actually talked to them, nowadays I run the conversations in my head. It's cute when a little girl talks to thin air, a grown woman gets sent to the funny farm if anyone sees it. ;) 
What can I say? I have a vivid imagination. The character kinda came to life. He is, by now, very different from the TV-Show character. He is "my" Lindsey. And he's not the only one. I have a whole battalion of little characters messing up my storylines and annoying the crap out of me. They are annoying, nagging little creatures and no matter what I write, who the main character in the story is, or who's life I currently mess up in the current project ... someone always has something to say about it and they never agree with me. Well, at least I never get bored. ;) I might post more about them. I'm actually writing stories about my life with those little muses every now and then. Though they're normally in German.^^
Truth to be told, they are very helpful, my little muses. wouldn't wanna trade 'em in for anything.
Of course, I don't really see them. More like ... imagining them? How we would argue if they were there for real? Hm. That means I'm having wild arguments with myself, I mess up my own stories beyond saving and I never agree with what I'm doing ... but THAT sounds even more crazy, doesn't it?

And here a list of my favorites and interests: 

Favorite TV-Shows:
Top shows: Angel & Leverage.
I also like: Firefly, Roswell, House M.D, Supernatural, Dollhouse, Merlin, Dexter, Babylon 5, Stargate Atlantis, Torchwood, Castle, One Tree Hill, Smallville, Wildfire, McLeod's Daughters, Charmed, Friends, Queer as Folk, Game of Thrones, Haven and many, many others.

Favorite Movies: 
Top Movies: Her Minor Thing, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars IV-VI
Others I like: Pirates of the Carribean (I), Inception, Mr. Fix It, Calcium Kid, Haven, Life or something like it, Crossfire Trail, 10 Things I hate about you. Soldier's girl, Brokeback Mountain, Latter days, X-Men, Crooked E, Secondhand Lions and many others.

Favorite Actors/Actresses: 

My number one: Christian Kane
Others I like: Julia Stiles, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts, Summer Glau, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Colin Firth, Heath Ledger, Orlando Bloom, Hugh Jackman, Jude Law and many others

Favorite Musicians & Genres: 

Top Genres: Country, Melodic & Soft Rock, Original Score
Others I like: Classic, Rock, Musicals, Soul, Jazz, sometimes Rap, sometimes even Trance.
Top Musicians: Christian Kane, Steve Carlson
Others I like: Rosalee, Kansas, Kings of Leon, George Strait, Garth Brooks, and so on. You get the drift ;)

Favorite Books/Authors: 
Top Authors: J.R.R. Tolkien, Trudi Canavan
Top Books: Black Magician Trilogy, Lord of the rings, The hobbit

Favorite activities/hobbies: 
Top activity/hobby: Writing, laughing, hanging out with friends, going to gigs with friends, watching movies with friends
Others: Webdesing, graphic design, watching TV-Shows, guitar playing, singing, songwriting, listening to music, walking through a park and many other things

Well ... that's me. Thanks for reading ;)
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